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PTSD Tag

Inner vs. Outer Worlds

One of my greatest coping mechanisms after my trauma was learning how to seem "okay" and even "successful" in my outer world as my inner world spun out of control. The technique helped me stop getting in trouble with my family, and helped me feel in control of my life. For a long time I even believed that I was okay because I had it all together on the outside. How wrong I was! I learned that lesson when my outer world stopped working for me. My heart kept calling out to me to heal beneath my successes through forms such as anxiety, insomnia, and depression. Friends from that time in my life might not have noticed, and I wonder if many of them may have...

From Fear to Faith

Living in fear means being disconnected from your heart, your source, and your true self. Fear can manifest as anxiety, anger, depression, and insomnia, to name a few. It can make your mind race and make you wilt. Though it may seem difficult in the middle of a fearful moment to see the way out, you don’t have to stay there. There is a pathway out of fear, and I believe it goes through your heart.  After my trauma and childhood, I lived in a constant state of fear. It became second nature for me to live this way. I had difficulty sleeping. I had anxiety. I always felt shut down. Though it manifested as a diagnosis of P.T.S.D., it felt much different than that. It felt...

Loving your Story/Letting go of your Story

I’m getting this out to you a little late today because my daughter woke up way too early, right when I was starting to write. Thanks for your patience on this holiday weekend. Today I wanted to share about my story- how I’ve lived it, learned from it, and also how I’m able to let it go.  When I was thirteen I was raped by a group of four older boys while many onlookers watched. I believe I was drugged because I don’t remember how I got there. I spent years denying this trauma until I could no longer ignore it. I had several breakdowns and became suicidal in my early twenties. I then spent years talking about it, going to therapy, writing about it, and...

Loving Yourself

What does it mean to love yourself? It means to sit in a space of love for yourself and embrace yourself in all of your manifestations. Learning to love myself has been a vital part of my healing journey. It’s a step I often overlook and that I think seems a little selfish sometimes, if I’m being honest. But feeling love for myself in the face of difficulty, anger, sadness, and stress, helps me remember who I am. It helps me remember that God created me, and that I’m loved exactly the way I am. Some of the ways I practice loving myself include saying “I love myself” as a mantra, as well as saying “God loves me.” I also breathe and sit in stillness and...