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Learning to Love

04/30/2019
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In the years after my trauma, I did not know how to love myself or other people. I surrounded my heart with protective steel walls. No one could hurt me if I couldn’t feel anything. It felt safe, but it led to me hurting other people, and to me feeling sad and emotionally numb. I was still myself, but I wasn’t connected to the world or people around me. To look at pictures of me from that time, I still seem like myself, and I’m sure if you asked my friends from that time if I seemed cold, numb or depressed, they may not have noticed. But I noticed. It was a learned way of being that I’ve thankfully mostly unlearned. How did I learn to...

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Forgiving Others

04/24/2019
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Over the weekend an old acquaintance I hadn’t seen in years directed some very hurt feelings towards me. It truly took me aback and made me feel confused and bad about myself. I don’t know what she was upset about, but I do believe it had more to do with her than me. It’s been hard not to relive those moments in my head and feel distressed. I’ve found this to be a good time to practice forgiveness. In these kinds of situations, it’s really easy to hold onto the pain and to judge the person sending out negativity. It was my first, knee-jerk response. Withdrawing and protecting myself is how I got by in life when people were harsh towards me as a child and...

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Can One be Spiritual and Intellectual?

04/19/2019
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Having been raised in a hyper-intellectual environment, I was taught explicitly and implicitly that a spiritual approach to life was a less intelligent approach to life. My family was firmly rooted in rationality and judged anything that seemed irrational to be “crazy,” a term I recall hearing quite a bit in my house growing up. When I’m around my more intellectual friends and family, there is a continued judgment towards a “non-rational” approach to life, including one that embraces God and holistic approaches to healing. I understand that mindset because I was raised in it, and yet, to heal, I had to move past it. The mind is a vital part of our lives, but so is the spirit. As I’ve written before, I believe we...

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Schizophrenia or Spirituality?

04/15/2019
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When I first had my spiritual experiences, I truly believed I was schizophrenic. I was raised in a skeptical household by a doctor and a psychologist. The spiritual realm did not exist in my world. Seeing or hearing things, even very beautiful things, meant one was crazy. I spent long hours and years talking with people and grappling with whether I was schizophrenic.  It was a long bridge to cross to believing in the spiritual world, but at the same time it was quite easy. We are spiritual beings. It only requires unlearning the attitudes we may have been given as children. Mine were very deeply learned because of the way I was raised, but they were not impossible to move past. It happened over time...

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Raising Your Vibration

04/04/2019
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This is a term that’s thrown around a fair amount in healing communities, and it’s one that I’ve been thinking about lately in my meditations and in my daily life. To me, raising my vibration means becoming more connected to love and to the lighter side of life. When I’ve had a high vibration in my life, everything truly does feel lighter. The clutter in my mind clears and I can breathe easily. Everything feels more joyful and calm and I’m connected to my highest self. It doesn’t have to be hard to raise your vibration. It starts inside of yourself. Here are some of the things that have helped me raise my vibration and experience joy and peace. Of course, like everything, I’m still working...

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Forgiving Yourself for the Past

03/27/2019
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Some days I find myself overtaken by difficult memories of the past. I remember things I wish I would not have done, or things I wish I would not have said. It can be painful to recall those moments, and too easy to dwell on them. Here are some techniques I work on to let those old memories go. Thought-stopping – When I notice that I am dwelling on these past moments too much, I catch myself and actively replace those thoughts with a positive thought or a thought that brings peace. Or I will notice I’m dwelling on these past moments and stop myself by taking a deep breath and saying a mantra like “I love myself.” This takes a lot of effort and, honestly, I...

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Allowing Others to Change

03/25/2019
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When someone has hurt us in the past, it is easy to hold those painful memories in our minds about what that other person has done. But what if that person changes? We can give them the great gift of letting those old mental pictures go. We can let them be their new selves by seeing the highest good in them.  I am actively practicing letting old memories of others go by centering my heart in love and shrugging off painful past moments. I am seeing them as they are in this moment, and embracing the new vision they have of themselves. I can see a new way. I can help them, and myself, on the path towards love by releasing moments held in the past.  The...

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The Joy of Knowing God Exists

03/22/2019
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During and immediately after my experience of God, I felt pure bliss, joy, peace, and love. It was like being connected back to my true self, the one I’d only dared to hope was real, but generally didn’t believe in. However, living after that experience was much more difficult than I expected. Even though I had felt God’s true peace, I really had to work to see it in my life and in the world around me. It was, and still is sometimes, surprisingly disappointing. And yet, overall, knowing God exists is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my life. It’s completely changed my outlook on everything, and allowed me to find peace when I didn’t think peace would ever be...

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Prayer

03/18/2019
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When I woke up this morning, I had my mind set on writing today’s blog about prayer. And of course, today presented me with a thousand reasons to pray. And of course, I often forgot to pray. I wondered to myself, “how can I write a blog about prayer when I can’t even remember to pray myself!” Like everything, it’s a work in progress (as am I). Several years ago, I had a very powerful dream about prayer. In this dream, I was surrounded by angry people. They were getting angrier and angrier, yelling and scowling. Somehow amidst this furor I remembered to start praying. I started saying the first prayer that popped into my mind, the Our Father. As I prayed, I began rising. I rose and...

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Caring for Others

03/15/2019
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“An awakened species sees the Unity of All Life and lives into it. Humans in an unawakened state often deny it or ignore it.” - Conversations with God, Book 4 I’m writing to you the day after the terrorist attacks in New Zealand which killed 49 Muslims. At Mosque. Praying during Friday prayers.  My heart aches for those who lost family members, and for the entire Muslim community.  How can we care for others during these times? I don’t know the best or the right way. I do know that I prayed and felt called to contact my Muslim friend in town and send apologies, love, and to tell her I supported her and her family. Even though I wasn’t...

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Energy Healer | Angel Interpreter
rebecca@rebeccakastl.com

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